In today’s gossip roundup: Madonna posted a scandalous photo of her son on Instagram, Jenny McCarthy denies rumors, and Shia copies someone again.


If there’s one thing you can say about Madonna—pop icon, actress, activist, exercise enthusiast, Kabbalist, mother, occasional Englishwoman—it’s that she’s never courted controversy or pushed the envelope in any way. So it’s shocking to learn that she’s posted an Instagram photo that has ruffled many feathers. In the photo, her 13-year-old son Rocco Ritchie and two of his young friends are shown holding various bottles of alcohol, Bombay Sapphire gin for Rocco and Belvedere vodka for the other two. The caption reads “The party has just begun! Bring it! 2014.”


The controversy is, of course, that Rocco is not of legal drinking age, not in the United States or England or even in the nearly lawless Swiss Alps where the photo was taken. Many Instagram commenters are horrified by the photo, accusing Madonna of promoting underage drinking. And I’m forced to agree with them. I, for one, am shocked that Madonna, a former goddess of the ‘80s downtown club scene, has such loose morals when it comes to underage consumption of alcohol. So loose, in fact, that she allowed her son and his friends to pose for a photo holding bottles of alcohol! That doesn’t sound like Madonna at all, does it? I’d expect this from the likes of Amy Grant, but Madonna?? How odd that this woman, who has built a 30-year career out of flouting taboo, would not see the inherent wickedness of taking a photo of her teenage son holding a bottle of gin. Doesn’t she know that such a thing might influence other young teens to drink? You know, all those young teens who follow Madonna on Instagram?? Of which I’m sure there are many! You ask any young teen out there today who they’re most into, who they love to follow on Instagram, and they’re not going to say Justin Bieber or Ariana Grande or even Cameron Dallas. No, they’re going to say Madonna. Because today’s teens love 55-year-old women their parents grew up listening to. That’s just what teens want. So of course they will be badly influenced by this scandalous Instagram photo. And putting the influence it has on others aside, what about poor Rocco? Can you imagine a more dangerous situation for this young man to be in than having his mom take a silly photo of him while on family vacation in Switzerland? Next thing you know he’ll be trying alcohol on his own, unsupervised, which I’m sure he, a modern boy of such means, would never do had this photo not been taken. It’s a dark day in pop music, my friends. Next thing you know, Dr. Dre might photograph one of his children saying something rude about law enforcement. And if that happens, we’re all doomed. [Daily Mail][1]


Guys, settle down. Jenny McCarthy did NOT say that her son doesn’t have autism in a new interview. There were rumors flying a couple days ago that McCarthy had revealed that her son doesn’t have autism after all, and thus all her anti-vaccine crusading was not only dangerous but foolishly misplaced. But unfortunately, all that righteous frothing from the pro-vaccine crowd (meaning: those who side with the majority of those in the medical profession) was based on a dumb thing that came out of Reddit. See, someone found an old Time magazine interview, from 2010, in which some question as to McCarthy’s son’s diagnosis was brought up, and then passed it off as if it was new and far more conclusive interview than it is. Very few people bothered to look at the g.d. date of the interview, or read it for that matter, choosing instead to indignantly freak the hell out and make fun of McCarthy for being awful. And she is largely awful! There is no denying that, but in this case the people calling her awful were wrong. And McCarthy has now issued a statement setting the record straight about her son’s autism diagnosis. She doesn’t really say anything about her current stance on vaccines in the statement, which may be an indication that she’s waffling a bit on that, but she does say that her son was diagnosed with autism by respected institutions and that “misrepresentations, such as these, only serve to open wounds of the many families who are courageously dealing with this disorder.” And while, yes, it is a bit rich for Jenny McCarthy, anti-vaccine champion, to complain about misrepresentation of facts, she is correct in saying that jumping on a nearly four-year-old magazine interview as an excuse to be newly angry at the View co-host does distract from the actual issue. The actual issue being that it’s maybe not the best idea to listen a former co-host of Singled Out with absolutely no medical expertise whatsoever when it comes to whether or not babies should get measles. So yes, Jenny is right. Don’t listen to these recent rumors. But also don’t listen to Jenny McCarthy. Don't do either. [Us Weekly[2] ]


You know who loves bull-riding? Martha Stewart. Doesn’t that make sense? If you had to name one celebrity who absolutely loves bull-riding, as in rodeo stuff, you’d probably say Martha Stewart. Wouldn’t you? She has a quality about her that suggests an affinity for such things, for the sweat and dirt and stink of it all. And don’t rodeo fans seem like the same people who would be Martha Stewart fans? It just all makes sense, demographically speaking. So it should be no surprise, then, that at yesterday’s opener of the Professional Bull Riders season, which was held at Madison Square Garden for some reason, Martha Stewart was brought out to address the audience. “I love this sport,” she said, wearing a cowboy hat and a leather coat. “I can't believe they can stay on there for eight seconds.” Which, whoa whoa whoa, Martha! Slow down with the technical terms! Not everyone in that audience was a real “bullhead” like you are, Martha! You gotta ease them in before throwing crazy stats at them. “I love this sport. I can’t believe the most basic tenet of it! It’s crazy!” She’s obviously got real technical know-how about this sport, which she loves. And that’s a good thing. But yes, the Professional Bull Riders season has begun, and Martha Stewart is going to be glued to every goddamn minute of it. Because she loves it. Martha Stewart, queen of Connecticut, loves herself some rodeo. [People[3] ]


Sigh. Shia LaBeouf has apologized for the one-millionth time in three weeks, and once again his apology was cribbed from someone else. Vaguely responding to a Lena Dunham tweet that called him out for his dumb skywriting stunt[4] , LaBeouf tweeted, “Im addicted to lean & that s--t ain't no joke. I can barely remember all the things I've done & said. However there's no excuse 4 skywriting.” Minus the skywriting bit, those are lyrics from a Gucci Mane song, so Us Weekly is calling it a “new plagiarism.” Which, OK, let’s slow down the party train here for a second. The word “plagiarism” has begun to lose all meaning as it pertains to this particular story, hasn’t it? At this point Us Weekly is just excited to be jumping into the journalistic ethics game, happy to be able to lob criticisms at such a soft target. Which, I get it, I don’t blame them, we can all admit that it is fun and satisfying to not only feel morally superior to someone but also professionally superior. But! At this point, Shia LaBeouf is just sorta quoting people rather than passing anything off as his own, and also at this point isn’t it clear that this chucklehead is just messing around? Like obviously he thinks he’s doing some kind of mixed-media performance art piece because he’s a dopey Hollywood show-kid who’s been tricked and deluded into thinking he’s an artiste. And while that “project” shouldn’t really be endorsed or even entertained, let’s also acknowledge that that’s what’s happening here and stop yelling and pointing a finger every time he says something that someone else already said. Tweeting song lyrics without attributing their creator isn’t plagiarism. If it were, everyone on Twitter is a plagiarist. So let’s all calm down. We’ll feel better, and the added benefit is that Shia LaBeouf’s art project will go away that much sooner. Because, come on, we’re all sick of Shia LaBeouf’s art project, aren’t we? [Us Weekly[5] ]


Much as Martha Stewart loves bull-riding, boy band heartthrob (and domestic diva!) Harry Styles is super into Judaism. How do we know this? Well, for one, he got some Hebrew words tattooed on his shoulder, and if there’s one thing Jewish people love, it’s tattoos. But also, he has been learning Hebrew and Yiddish, as evidenced in various tweets. This has all sprung out of a friendship with Ben Winston, the director of One Direction’s video for “Story of My Life.” Harry even wears a Star of David around his neck. So this is serious! It’s not a 19-year-old kid briefly fascinated with a foreign culture, it’s the real deal. We’re probably talking conversion here. Probably eventually making Aliyah. This is serious. So take heed, 1D fans. Maybe it’s time you started looking into Judaism and its practices, so you might make a suitable wife someday. Pay close attention to this music video director’s quotes in the Daily Mail about Harry Styles’s interest in Jewish faith and culture. It is to be trusted as gospel. [Daily Mail[6] ]


Glen Berger, the guy who wrote the tell-all book about the disastrous Spider-Man musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, had the audacity to show up to the Broadway show’s final performance on Saturday. A source told Page Six (well, according to Page Six, the source “sniffed” this), “He must have purchased his tickets under an assumed name.” Or, y’know, the house staff doesn’t scan a list of every ticket holder’s name looking for potential red flags. It’s possible Glen Berger just went to Telecharge or whatever and used his real name and no one noticed. That’s definitely possible! But oh well. The point is he went, and that was brave/maybe a little cruel. No word yet on whether he went to the afterparty, but if he did, you can bet that he stood awkwardly in a corner, trying to be nonchalant as he craned his neck to catch a glimpse of whatever random celebrity was in attendance. Because that’s just what you do at theater parties. Anyway, goodbye Spider-Man! May OSHA never bother you again. [Page Six[7] ]



References



  1. ^ Daily Mail] (www.eonline.com)

  2. ^ Us Weekly (www.usmagazine.com)

  3. ^ People (www.people.com)

  4. ^ dumb skywriting stunt (www.vanityfair.com)

  5. ^ Us Weekly (www.usmagazine.com)

  6. ^ Daily Mail (www.dailymail.co.uk)

  7. ^ Page Six (pagesix.com)



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