Image Credit: 'Seinfeld'
Need I remind you, Seinfeld lovers? Festivus is your heritage. It’s part of who you are. It’s December 23rd — time to go dig the bare aluminum pole out of the crawl space and air your grievances to family and friends before challenging them to the Feats of Strength tonight!
Relive Frank Costanza’s holiday tradition and help me RAIN BLOWS against all of the parties who have wronged us this year, below.
Today I issue grievances against the following:
Ben and Jerry’s Festivus-flavored ice cream for no longer existing.
The word “chihuahua” for being something I will always have to look up.
Dancing With the Stars for forcing me to finally learn what the fox says[4] .
E!’s Live on the Red Carpet Mani-Gram — changing the name didn’t help! We all know it’s still the ManiCam!
iOS 7 for making texts look so much less friendly now.
The Internet for devouring the best years of my life.
The chilling dread of live TV.
Victoria’s Secret’s constant deluge of sale emails, every deletion of which feels like I’m giving up. But I’m not!!
Grand Theft Auto for its absolutely thrilling shopping simulations that do not translate to real life.
People who bring pets on planes. This isn’t, like, your van. Figure something else out.
Scarlett’s weave on Nashville: You have tried to choke me to death one too many times in my nightmares and I will not stand for it.
Miley Cyrus, for tainting marijuana like that.
David Blaine, just because.
Jon Hamm and Alec Baldwin, for not already being hard at work on a new Salt-N-Pepa reality series.
Raw Vegans: You’re annoying.
Finally, BRING ME THE HEAD of the person who crowned Michael Bublé ‘The King of Cool’!
Wow. This list is by no means complete, and here I thought I’d had a pretty low-raging year!
Air your grievances here. The dumber the better!
Photos
12 days of Xmas music classics: YOUR playlist![16]
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29 biopic stars: Best/worst likenesses[17]
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21 domes of '13: Can you name 'em?[18]
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50 TV series' best and worst episodes of 2013[19]
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25 best movie posters of 2013[20]
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Latest News
- 10 best TV episodes of 2013[22]
- 10 best music performances of 2013[23]
- 'Sing-Off' recap: And the winner is...[24]
- Ryan Murphy's tribute to Cory Monteith[25]
- 'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills': Dog gone tears[26]
- 10 best country albums of 2013[27]
- Country hits '13: Lately it all sounds the same to me...[28]
- Taylor Swift: 'One Chance' encounter[29]
Most Commented
- 'Duck Dynasty': A&E suspends Phil Robertson for anti-gay comments 6529 [30]
- 'Duck Dynasty' star makes anti-gay comments; GLAAD slams 2391 [31]
- 'Duck Dynasty': Cracker Barrel defends pulling show's products 1211 [32]
- 'Duck Dynasty' family pushes back: No show without Phil 856 [33]
- 'Duck Dynasty' ignites culture war as boycott looms 611 [34]
Top 5 Most Read
- The 10 Best Country Albums of 2013[35]
- 10 Best TV Episodes of 2013[36]
- The Late Greats: Ryan Murphy remembers Cory Monteith[37]
- Oscar Too-Due List: Which never-nominated actors really deserve a nod?[38]
- 'Fast & Furious 7': Vin Diesel reveals 2015 release date[39]
Also Check Out
Huffington Post [40]
- 10 Reasons Why The 'Miracle On 34th Street' Remake Is Better Than The Original[41]
- Kylie Jenner's Instagram Account Gets Racier By The Day[42]
- The Most Head Shaking Year Of Pop Culture In 13 Charts[43]
- More from Huffington Post[44]
Just Jared [45]
- Matthew McConaughey: Barefoot Walking in Brazil![46]
- LeAnn Rimes: Best Tour Moment Involves Eddie Cibrian![47]
- 'Grey's Anatomy's Sarah Drew Shares Ellen Pompeo's Reaction to Mid-Season Finale![48]
- More from Just Jared[49]
TV Recaps
References
- ^ PopWatch (ewpopwatch.wordpress.com)
- ^ Posts by Annie Barrett (www.ew.com)
- ^ @EWAnnieBarrett (twitter.com)
- ^ what the fox says (popwatch.ew.com)
- ^ 2013 Tag (popwatch.ew.com)
- ^ Christmas Tag (popwatch.ew.com)
- ^ Happy Holidays Tag (popwatch.ew.com)
- ^ Ridiculata Tag (popwatch.ew.com)
- ^ Seinfeld Tag (popwatch.ew.com)
- ^ Television Tag (popwatch.ew.com)
- ^ Things That Are Classy Tag (popwatch.ew.com)
- ^ Things That Make Me Die Inside Tag (popwatch.ew.com)
- ^ Why Am I Crying? Tag (popwatch.ew.com)
- ^ comments powered by Disqus. (disqus.com)
- ^ 20 future cult faves: From 2013 to eternity (www.ew.com)
- ^ 12 days of Xmas music classics: YOUR playlist! (www.ew.com)
- ^ 29 biopic stars: Best/worst likenesses (www.ew.com)
- ^ 21 domes of '13: Can you name 'em? (www.ew.com)
- ^ 50 TV series' best and worst episodes of 2013 (www.ew.com)
- ^ 25 best movie posters of 2013 (www.ew.com)
- ^ Molly's Beach Babe (www.people.com)
- ^ 10 best TV episodes of 2013 (www.ew.com)
- ^ 10 best music performances of 2013 (www.ew.com)
- ^ 'Sing-Off' recap: And the winner is... (popwatch.ew.com)
- ^ Ryan Murphy's tribute to Cory Monteith (insidetv.ew.com)
- ^ 'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills': Dog gone tears (tvrecaps.ew.com)
- ^ 10 best country albums of 2013 (music-mix.ew.com)
- ^ Country hits '13: Lately it all sounds the same to me... (music-mix.ew.com)
- ^ Taylor Swift: 'One Chance' encounter (music-mix.ew.com)
- ^ 'Duck Dynasty': A&E suspends Phil Robertson for anti-gay comments 6529 (insidetv.ew.com)
- ^ 'Duck Dynasty' star makes anti-gay comments; GLAAD slams 2391 (insidetv.ew.com)
- ^ 'Duck Dynasty': Cracker Barrel defends pulling show's products 1211 (insidetv.ew.com)
- ^ 'Duck Dynasty' family pushes back: No show without Phil 856 (insidetv.ew.com)
- ^ 'Duck Dynasty' ignites culture war as boycott looms 611 (insidetv.ew.com)
- ^ The 10 Best Country Albums of 2013 (music-mix.ew.com)
- ^ 10 Best TV Episodes of 2013 (www.ew.com)
- ^ The Late Greats: Ryan Murphy remembers Cory Monteith (insidetv.ew.com)
- ^ Oscar Too-Due List: Which never-nominated actors really deserve a nod? (popwatch.ew.com)
- ^ 'Fast & Furious 7': Vin Diesel reveals 2015 release date (insidemovies.ew.com)
- ^ Huffington Post (www.huffingtonpost.com)
- ^ 10 Reasons Why The 'Miracle On 34th Street' Remake Is Better Than The Original (www.huffingtonpost.com)
- ^ Kylie Jenner's Instagram Account Gets Racier By The Day (www.huffingtonpost.com)
- ^ The Most Head Shaking Year Of Pop Culture In 13 Charts (www.huffingtonpost.com)
- ^ More from Huffington Post (www.huffingtonpost.com)
- ^ Just Jared (www.justjared.com)
- ^ Matthew McConaughey: Barefoot Walking in Brazil! (www.justjared.com)
- ^ LeAnn Rimes: Best Tour Moment Involves Eddie Cibrian! (www.justjared.com)
- ^ 'Grey's Anatomy's Sarah Drew Shares Ellen Pompeo's Reaction to Mid-Season Finale! (www.justjared.com)
- ^ More from Just Jared (www.justjared.com)
- ^ 'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' recap: Dog Gone Tears (tvrecaps.ew.com)
- ^ Comments + (popwatch.ew.com)
- ^ 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' recap: Reading Railroad (tvrecaps.ew.com)
- ^ Comments + (popwatch.ew.com)
- ^ 'The Voice' season finale recap: Ending on a High Note (tvrecaps.ew.com)
- ^ Comments + (popwatch.ew.com)
- ^ 'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' recap: Team Squirrel (tvrecaps.ew.com)
- ^ Comments + (popwatch.ew.com)
- ^ 'Almost Human' recap: Harden My Heart (tvrecaps.ew.com)
- ^ Comments + (popwatch.ew.com)
- ^ 'The Voice' recap: Third Time's a Charm (tvrecaps.ew.com)
- ^ Comments + (popwatch.ew.com)
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