Christmas is all about love, family, and innocence, so what better way to spend it than by seeing Martin Scorsese's[1] very explicit new film "The Wolf of Wall Street[2] ?" Almost any other way, actually.
The movie, starring Leonardo Dicaprio[3] as a rich sex and drug-crazed stockbroker opened nationwide on Christmas, and some people made the very unfortunate mistake of thinking it was a great Christmas movie for the whole family.
Kids took to Twitter for some initial therapy, and to issue warnings to others who might otherwise have had the same lapse in judgment. Here are some of our favorites:
Like I'm telling you straight up just don't go see wolf of Wall Street with your parents. It's NOT a family movie.
— momomollie (@momomolliee) December 26, 2013[4] We don't know why you won't just take Monomollie's word for it, guys. Straight up, it is NOT a family movie.
Also don't make the mistake of seeing The Wolf of Wall Street with your parents........ #BorderlinePorno #AwkoTaco[5] [6]
— Maddie Thompson (@maddles_t) December 26, 2013[7] This wins the award for "best two hashtags ever."
Saw Wolf of Wall Street......do not go to that movie with your parents. Go with a very close friend, take my word for it
— Steven Pearl (@StevenPearl22) December 26, 2013[8] That's right, kids. Only watch people do Quaaludes with a close friend, not your parents. Four out of five doctors agree.
Inadvertently gave the stankiest look to parents with little kids at Wolf of Wall Street. USC football level of bad decision making.
— Dan Rubenstein (@DanRubenstein) December 25, 2013[9] This is a warning to parents: if you DO take kids to "Wolf of Wall Street," you're not just getting stank looks. You're getting the STANKIEST looks. Don't do it, guys.
Watching Wolf of Wall Street with my parents may have been the most uncomfortable experience of my life
— Daniel Jarris (@DanielJarris) December 25, 2013[10] It was too late for Daniel. Everyone on Twitter warned him, but he did it anyway. At least he'll have good material for his therapist.
this is the parents guide for wolf of Wall Street.. pic.twitter.com/6JFjoz94X1[11]
— erin. (@monicaslewinsky) December 25, 2013[12] You're really still considering going? Well, Monica has a helpful guide for parents of what to expect if you do. 506 "F" words, and 21 used with mother? That just seems like lazy writing.
Oh dear god do not go see Wolf of Wall Street with your parents and grandma #weirdest2hoursofmylife[13]
— Asia Brown (@asiamae21) December 25, 2013[14] Asia was so scarred by the film that she didn't even realize that she left before seeing the third hour! We can't imagine what her Tweet would have been had she stayed.
Have fun sitting through the Wolf of Wall Street orgy scenes next to your parents today, Jewish friends!
— Tom Ganjamie (@tomgam) December 25, 2013[15] Tom unfortunately doesn't warn the many non-Jews who also go to the movies Christmas day. Based on the above Tweets, they could have used his warning, too.
Do not see Wolf of Wall Street with your parents unless you want to feel so uncomfortable that you have to walk out
— Lauren Jones (@laurrrenjonnnes) December 25, 2013[16] We imagine Lauren walked out when her parents started talking about how unrealistic the coke-binging orgies were.
Parents want to spend quality holiday time seeing The Wolf of Wall Street. Convinced them time would be better spent watching snow pile up.
— MortHobbs (@morthobbs) December 24, 2013[17] This is unfair! In the movie, there is plenty of white powder that piles up.
I saw The Wolf of Wall Street last night, and now I'm terrified of drugs and sex. It did in three hours what took my parents 18 years.
— David Gregory (@thedavidgregory) December 21, 2013[18] See? The movie's actually a really good parenting tool. Thanks, Uncle Marty!
References
- ^ Martin Scorsese's (www.mtv.com)
- ^ The Wolf of Wall Street (www.mtv.com)
- ^ Leonardo Dicaprio (www.mtv.com)
- ^ December 26, 2013 (twitter.com)
- ^ #BorderlinePorno (twitter.com)
- ^ #AwkoTaco (twitter.com)
- ^ December 26, 2013 (twitter.com)
- ^ December 26, 2013 (twitter.com)
- ^ December 25, 2013 (twitter.com)
- ^ December 25, 2013 (twitter.com)
- ^ pic.twitter.com/6JFjoz94X1 (t.co)
- ^ December 25, 2013 (twitter.com)
- ^ #weirdest2hoursofmylife (twitter.com)
- ^ December 25, 2013 (twitter.com)
- ^ December 25, 2013 (twitter.com)
- ^ December 25, 2013 (twitter.com)
- ^ December 24, 2013 (twitter.com)
- ^ December 21, 2013 (twitter.com)
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